Planning Dementia-Friendly Holidays
Ahead of the Christmas season, here is a roundup of ways to plan happy and memorable celebrations with a loved one who has dementia.
Prepare the Person with Dementia
Talk about how the day will go and who will be there. Showing photos of guests (or doing a video call) and telling stories about them will help prepare the person.
One of the most important factors to consider is the timing of the event–consider when the person is generally at their best! Many people with dementia experience sundowning (wandering, becoming confused or agitated in the late afternoon and early evening), so holding festivities earlier in the day may well be easier. Routine is so important, so keep in mind what the person’s day usually looks like and try to preserve routines where possible. Preventing fatigue is one of the best things you can do to make it a positive experience.
Prepare Visitors
Before the celebration, update guests on how the person with dementia is doing, their current abilities and appearance. Kids and young people also need to know what is happening–providing age-appropriate information about the person’s condition is important. If the person with dementia has trouble with names and faces, a simple thing could be for all guests to wear nametags.
The Alzheimer’s Association has a great sample email that you can send to guests beforehand, which will prepare them for what to expect and give them communication tips and strategies.
Prepare Events & Activities
When considering holiday activities, keep the person with dementia involved, while honoring their current wants, needs and abilities. This could mean adapting favorite traditions or finding new ones. Ask them what things they would most like to be involved with and focus on a few things rather than “all or nothing.” Think about what is meaningful for the person now–it might not be the same as it used to.
Simple activities may be the best. Holiday music has great power to bring joy to people with dementia, and connect them to their memories. This can also be a great time to dig out old family albums or home movies.
Creating a warm and calm atmosphere through comforting and familiar sounds, sights, tastes, smells or touch may be all the stimulation that is needed. Identify which senses are still strong and find ways to engage them.
Prepare the Space
Keep it simple: the goal is a safe and calm space. Over-decoration can be overstimulating. Avoid things like blinking lights, mirrored decorations or a lot of clutter. Plug-in scents and battery-operated candles are much safer than candles with real flame. Also, don’t put out fragile decorations or those that could be mistaken for edible treats.
Lastly, have a time-out space available for if your person becomes overwhelmed, tired or just needs a quiet space to take a break.
Prepare Yourself
As wonderful as they are, the holidays usually come with some amount of stress, and this is compounded when you’re also a caregiver.
Adjust your own expectations: scale back plans to fit with your caregiving responsibilities. One or two really meaningful and pleasant activities are better than a day that is too full and becomes chaotic. Accept help when it’s offered and don’t be afraid to delegate!
Keep in mind that the holidays can bring up feelings of sadness or negativity (in you and in the person with dementia). Acknowledge those feelings without judgment.
Take time out for yourself, and remember that things don’t need to go perfectly; spending time together is what’s most important.
The AFA has a free national helpline (call, text or webchat) that runs 9am-9pm ET, seven days a week. Here, you can get advice and ideas as we head into the Christmas season – or any time you need advice on supporting a person with dementia.
Sources:
- Alzheimer’s Foundation of America Webinar (this is a fantastic presentation, chock full of really useful, practical ideas and strategies, plus lots of specific ideas for holiday activities you can do with your loved ones.)
- PACE Rhode Island: 5 Ways to Help Loved Ones with Dementia Enjoy the Holidays
- Mayo Clinic: Alzheimer’s: Tips to make holidays more enjoyable
- Alzheimer’s Association: The Holidays and Alzheimer’s
- Pacific Neuroscience Institute: Dealing with Dementia – Holiday Cheer NOT Fear
- Alzheimer’s Society: Holidays and Special Occasions